Imperfect Favor

Hi babes,

I know I’ve haven’t been posting for the past few months..

Of course I am human, and life does sometimes get in the way.

I want to be as transparent with this post, and tell you about some times where I felt unmotivated but somehow found myself still pushing forward.

As some of you may know from my about me (about me tab), I am the first to commit to a graduate program in my immediate family. Now this isn’t to sound all vain but I’m sure as hell proud of myself.

However, at times..that title and those accomplishments can be hard to handle.

Have you ever felt so much pressure to achieve something that you starting second guessing your dreams?

Well, if you have then you know the feeling I have right now..

The feeing feels quite like a roller coaster ride.

The nervousness right before the ride begins and the thrill of it once you’ve successfully rode that terrifying ride.

This is honestly how life feels right now.

Up and Down.

Anxiety and Depression is real...

I wish I had talked about this sooner, but since I’m almost done with grad school...I thought why not?

Excuse me for my pity party..lol but if I can’t complain anywhere else why not here?

Finishing undergrad was bitter sweet as it is for most graduates. I was ready to be finished with it all and on to start my career...But..things weren’t that easy.

Things didn’t quite turn out like the movies, I realized I had to actually apply myself a lot more in order to achieve the things that I wanted. That was a big wake up call...Although, I was fortunate enough to get a job in my career it also wasn’t necessarily the job I wanted or felt I deserved after all that hard work from undergrad.

Talk about some misfortunes...

I’ve been hired, fired and repeat but I always try to pick myself up when I fall. I’ve dealt with a lot of feelings of defeat....and most times I don't know what to do or where to start.

In the midst of all of this chaos, I always try to remember their will be times when I fail but only to lead to a victory.

That’s what I like to call ‘imperfect favor’. Although, I know It won’t be easy and you gotta keep going no matter how hard it gets. Loving yourself through the struggle is hard work...but I’m going to find my purpose ...and I’m going to enjoy every bit of this journey.

I hope if you read all the way through, you understand better what place I am in my life. If you can relate, that’s always a plus. I encourage you to stay prayed up, and never give up.

Xo Jade’ Montinique

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